EDTC Module 8 Post: Edublogs

For my second technology tool inquiry, I wanted to do further research into a tool that I'd already used once with my students, blogging. As an English teacher, I'm constantly looking for ways to encourage student writing, and I had found extraordinary success in this area by getting my students plugged into blogs last year. However, the blogger service that I had used, Edublogs, had presented some hijinks, not the least of which had involved an extremely time consuming set-up. For this assignment, I decided to explore the blogger service to see if I had missed some easy step that would better enable blogging with my students in the future. Before covering my new discoveries though, I'll review my past experience with Edublogs.

When looking into creating blogs for my students, I first considered this blogging tool: blogger. However, I quickly realized that students wouldn't be able to access "blogger" from the firewall-protected computers at school. As many of them didn't have computers at home, it was imperative that I find a service that would enable school access. After some hunting on the internet, I found Edublogs. The ".org" status of the website seemed promising, as did its education-specific status. I spoke with our school's technology head, who confirmed the usability of this website, and I looked into getting started.

In creating my own Edublog, I discovered that access to email was necessary in the blog set-up. Again, because of the school's firewall protection, I knew this was problematic: students wouldn't be able to access their email. Furthermore, I wanted administrative control over the kids' blogs-- the best option seemed to be creating the kids' blogs FOR them.

Ran into another problem when attempting this, however: for every email address, there is only ONE user name permitted. Although one user can create multiple blogs (as I did for Periods 2, 3, 4, and 5), I wanted the kids to have their OWN user names. Only by giving them their own user names would I be able to track their blogging and commenting on their classmates' blogs-- an important aspect of my envisioned blogging requirements.

At this point, the project seemed stuck. If I couldn't create their blogs, and THEY couldn't create their blogs, what should I do? I could try to give them very specific directions as to how to create the blogs at home where they WOULD conceivably have email access, but what about the kids who didn't have computers? And what if they got stuck? Also, given my students' typical lack of motivation, how would I ensure they all created their blogs in a timely manner?

I decided that, if this was going to work, we HAD to set up the blogs at school, where all the kids would have computer access and where I could be available to help trouble-shoot. I emailed the district's technology wizard (forget his name-- whoops) and asked if there was any way I could get around this.

He wrote back with some stellar hacker advice: I could create multiple user names with my one email address IF I did some fancy work with the plus sign: "+." My tech guru explained that any text entered AFTER a plus sign in an email address wouldn't be recognized when an email was actually sent... However, the different text after the plus sign would register on Edublogs as a different email address, thereby enabling the creation of multiple user names. In other words, by just using:

greta.email@gmail.com

... I only was able to create one user name. But if I played with that plus sign:

greta.email+maryt@gmail.com
greta.email+brandonc@gmail.com
greta.email+paulqu@gmail.com

... I could create as many user names as I wanted-- which is what I ended up doing. The text entered after the plus sign was the kids' user names, which I selected, using their first names plus a couple initials of their last name. This provided me with some advantages: I was notified via MY email every time a student commented on another student's blog via email, which enabled me to track their blogging requirements. It also meant I knew the password of every kid's blog, and could appropriately monitor them. Furthermore, if any of the kids ever tried to get sneaky and change their password (which they did), I simply clicked the "forgot password" link when signing in with their user name, and a new password was delivered to my email.

The problem? Setting up each individual blog took HOURS. Literally-- it took an entire weekend to set up 70 student blogs, especially because for each one, I had to write down the student's individual user name and the automated password created by Edublogs. Furthermore, I had to copy these down twice: once in my teacher notebook, so that I had administrative access, and once on an instructional sheet I gave to the kids on setting up their blogs.

That was a huge, huge pain.

However, the benefits were enormous. Students that hadn't turned in a scrap of paper all year were writing weekly blogs. One boy commented, "The blog idea [is] EXCELLENT! It is such a great way to combine a fun part of everyday teenage life with learning and education." Another young man, who had been under the watchful eye of his parole officer all year and whose grade had typically been around an 8%, wrote weekly; I watched him help a friend of his write a blog one week, and when they clicked over to their other friend's blog to see if he'd written, Jose said, "Jonathan hasn't written anything yet?? Loser!" And the two boys got on Jonathan's back to make him write. Students were also excellent about commenting on one another's work. My favorite part of this project in fact was reading the students' thoughts to one another; they were kind, encouraging, and constructive. As a result, students have felt increasingly safe in being vulnerable. One girl wrote an incredible post about some very difficult things that had happened in her life; other students-- not just her friends-- responded with encouragement and praise for her courage in being so honest. Our class communities were enormously strengthened through these blogs. Furthermore, students began posting blogs of their own accord-- poems, short stories that they've written, and other thoughts.

One of my long-term goals as an English teacher is to help my students discover writing as a powerful, enjoyable means for their own expression. I have never seen more tangible evidence of students progressing towards that goal than by these independently posted blogs that they freely shared with their classmates. Without a doubt, I wanted to continue using student blogs as a stable component of my teaching instruction; the success was just too great to stop using them.

Because of the aforementioned issues however, I wanted to go back to edublogs and give it a good, hard search. I thought I MUST have missed some easy step in my set-up; surely, not all teachers who had created student blogs had to use a hacking trick to create them??

Unfortunately, my search came up empty. Edublogs apparently used to run a partner site called "learnerblogs.org" which was specifically created for student use; in fact, I found repeated warnings that student blogs created through edublogs rather than learnerblogs would be deleted. However, when one tries to go to "learnerblogs.org" one is directed here. In wading through Q&A forums on edublogs, I gathered that learnerblogs.org had been shut down... "So what now?" I wondered. "Where do the kids go?"

More bush-whacking through edublogs question forums ensued. (Note: edublogs has MANY Q&A forums; this means that most information is available somewhere, but is unbelievably difficult to find.) I gathered from my searching that my blogging project was actually a very unusual use of edublogs; most edublogs were used solely by teachers as a communication device for parents, for posting assignments, or for communicating with other educators. Finally, I found this page.

There's the answer then: pay for "edublogs campus," and you can get all your students set up with blogs, lickety split. Learnerblogs-- which I assume had been created in the same cost-free form that edublogs is-- had apparently been swapped out for a more lucrative option. If I wanted to do the blogging project again, I would either need to pay for the "campus" option, or I would need to use the same hacker trick I'd used before, and spend the same ghastly amount of time in the beginning to get them all set up.

Official cons of edublogs are:
1.) If you don't want to pay, you have to deal with lots of ads and significantly limited options for creating blogs
2.) It's not very user-friendly; information is incredibly difficult to find
3.) It's also still "getting on its feet": there were many times when my students would go to sign on, only to find that edublogs was temporarily "down." As I had to book the library computer lab every time we had a blogging day, not having edublogs available right when we had our blogging window was extremely frustrating.

Pros of edublogs are:
1.) It's accessible even with stringent school firewalls
2.) There's a large variety of blog designs for students to choose from. I found that the novelty of creating a blog that reflected students' individual personalities was a great "hook" to get students initially invested in the project.
3.) Customer service seems to be great; when I had a problem with one student's blog, I emailed tech help and got an email back within 24 hours from their main tech support staff member, Sue Waters.

All in all, although Edublogs is not the perfect web tool through which to conduct student blogging, it seems like the best option available-- in all my searching, it was THE only ".org" option I found. Many reviews suggested blogger, xanga, or wordpress, but they're all ".com"s and therefore run into the firewall issue. When doing this project next year, I'll have to consider whether or not I want to invest my money in the "edublogs campus" option... Or whether I want to invest my almost-more-precious free time into creating each student's blog using my hacker trick.

RELATED ARTICLES:
"How-To Blog Basics:" Article gives a basic overview and explanation of blogging
Plain English Does Blogging: Another great video overviewing blogs from the funny Plain English guys
Reflections on Student Blogging: A teacher writes about her personal experience blogging with her students and offers practical advice (This teacher used "21 classes" for her blogging; I don't know anything about this network, though it is another ".com.")
"Collaborative Literacy: Blogs and Internet Projects": A scholarly article reviewing the educational benefits of blogging. (Viewers may need to be signed into SPU to access link.)

EDTC Module 7 Post: Wikis

The wiki inquisition began with a google search, producing several articles that explained the myriad benefits of using a wiki site in the classroom. This article about Louise Maine transforming her classroom was convincing evidence of a wiki's academic potential. The article reports:

"The wiki is the hub for almost all class activity. Maine sets it so that only she and her students may edit it, though anyone in the world can view it. When students enter the classroom, they automatically know to look at the wiki for daily instructions, rubrics, and resources... They post their research, lab data, and observations on individual and group pages, which they can access later from home. After hours, the Web site functions as a parallel classroom, where students hold discussions, collaborate on group projects, and post their final work."

The article also stated, "Students like the wiki because it helps them keep track of their class work, they enjoy working on computers, and they often feel more comfortable participating in discussions online than in class. 'You feel free to express yourself because you can write down anything you want,' notes Cassie McConnaughey, who was a junior in Maine's Science for Living class. 'In the classroom, you might be afraid to say what you think out loud, but on the wiki, you can type and you don't have to say it.'"

I had noticed in my own experience with class blogging that kids often seemed to be more comfortable opening up in an online forum than out loud in a classroom. In this way, a wiki site seems as though it could contribute valuably to a class' feeling of community.

Another classmate of mine directed me to this article which, along with practical tips of wiki implementation, pointed out wikis as a great facilitator for inquiry based learning. I read several scholarly articles that further extolled the benefits of using a wiki site, including one written by another classmate!

It was clear that wikis could be a great classroom tool, but my dilemma then became HOW.

I explored "wikispaces" a bit, but then realized that there appeared to be a monthly charge associated with maintaining a private wiki space. After listening to a lecture overviewing the wiki tool "Wetpaint" given by David Wicks, I followed another classmate's suggestion and watched two fantastic Youtube videos made by the Seattle-based production company "Plain English."

The first gave an easy explanation of how to go about setting up a wiki site, even offering several suggestions at the end of different wiki sites one could use. Plain English gets bonus points for using cartoons and "hang loose" hand motions:


Then, per the other suggestions I'd been given about Wetpaint, I watched Plain English's video about that specific webtool. Wetpaint is especially great because, unlike other wiki venues, it's freeeeeee:



I'd been convinced of the benefits of a wiki, and had found a webtool that looked like a good one. Now I needed to practice USING it...

(After a couple hour's worth of work...)

I am happy to present my newly created WIKI site!

I created a home page, a daily reflection page, and uploaded an "introduction" picture under the photos tab. I created the site with the objective of using it with the Senior English classes that I'll be teaching next year. Although the site was mostly easy to use, I experienced some problems with the editing button not always properly loading. My "safari" browser also didn't always accommodate the various tools available. One other qualm with Wetpaint: there are a ton of ads, and I don't think all of them would be appropriate for my students. Although you can apparently "upgrade" and get rid of the ads, I'm sure that costs money... which is not ideal. I'm also not sure if my private school's extremely stringent firewall would allow access to this...

But in any case: I did it! And I know how to do it now!

EDTC Module 6 Post

I've noticed the discussion board posts this week have had a lot to do with teachers feeling overwhelmed and insecure about implementing the use of technology. Even us "young whippersnappers" in our 20's feel clueless and over-the-hill when looking at how our adolescent counterparts gobble up and master the newest technological fad... To use an old phrase, it seems like many of us feel like old dogs, trying to learn new tricks.

True, to some-- many, even-- technology is a pleasure to explore and employ, and it feels very natural to engage the invisible workings of a new technological toy. (Raising eyebrows at Prof. David Wicks). However, for those of us who have waited 8 months to get a new cell phone simply because the thought of learning how to use a new one is too frightening-- even though the phone that one has has lost the battery cover and has therefore been flashing its nudie cell-phone-self all over Seattle... Well, for those people, thinking about incorporating new technology into the classroom is an intimidating thought indeed.

However, frightening though it may be, I've discovered in the past that I don't give myself as much technology-savvy credit as I deserve. It may take a couple tries to learn something new, but it's possible. When I set my kids up with blogs last year, there were some trouble-shooting moments along the way, but I got help and the project moved forward. And what's more, the kids hugely benefited from the combination of technology and writing.

I think I've realized that this is something I need to force myself to keep current with. I commend districts that require-- and reward-- yearly technology training for their teachers, because I think we should all be making efforts to be up on the latest tools and machines. Our students benefit from our knowledge, and we make practical progress in avoiding stagnated methods. Furthermore, I don't think we should be above asking our students for help in implementing a new technological tool. If we've heard of something that sounds interesting, but don't feel sure of how to do it-- why not invite our students to take a crack at it? In all likelihood, they'd enjoy the challenge, and then students would be taking more ownership over their learning and education-- certainly a good thing!

In conclusion, even though I've yet to get a new cell phone, I've realized there are ways to avoid avoiding technology in the classroom!

EDTC Module 5 Post

Last week, I wondered how life might be different if I "unplugged" for a week.

Well, "LIFE" sort of let me try that out. After the wireless modem at my house experienced a mechanical failure, I found myself without internet at my home, all week long. To do my homework and access my online classes, I've had to work in cafes with wi-fi. This has had an interesting effect: I no longer am able to spend a half hour in the morning on facebook, nor an hour or two at night-- instead, I'm reading. Or spending time with people. Or sleeping. I have to be more focused and productive when I DO have access to the internet-- certainly not a bad thing. And furthermore, it's made my internet time-- which is usually a solitary event-- a social activity. I've made friends with some of the baristas at this cafe I've been going to; I interact with others when moving in and out of my seat, or plugging in my powercord. I work alongside other people, and am getting stimulated by the "outside" world, just as much as I receive stimulation from the "internet" world.

It hasn't been a bad thing!

It's still frustrating to have to drive somewhere just to check my email, and I haven't been able to send the same sort of regular communications to friends that I would if I WERE regularly accessing a social networking site like facebook. It's also a lot more expensive, since cafe time requires at least ONE coffee drink, and more often some food to go with.

Still-- I think it's been healthy to have a forced break! Oh, life. You silly thing, you.

On another note, I have the luxury of planning curriculum for next year after getting a job this last week (!!!) and have been planning class sites, class blogs, and perhaps a wiki component to go with. Clearly, this class has made an impact on me!

EDTC Module 4 Post

Module 4's reading was like getting doused with an ice cold bucket of water. I never would have expected a week's worth of material from a Technology class that cautioned against the increasing prevalence of technology! However, in hindsight, I appreciate the objectivity this converse view provided us with. We have been moving forward into the technological era with leaps and bounds, seldom asking questions. People in my generation accept new technological toys as though they're gifts from Santa Claus. We've raced from LiveJournal to Blogger to Myspace to Facebook to Twitter to I-Phones, to all of the above ON I-Phones... And oftentimes, these new tools are able to give us an improved experience of life, oftentimes they ARE good. But the speed at which we accept them is perhaps reckless, and I think Module 4's readings led us all towards that realization. Perhaps we should encounter these new technological advancements with a degree of skepticism, critically examining them and asking whether or not they really improve our quality of life.

When I first heard about Facebook, I dismissed it as a vanity project and as a waste of time. "Why do I need to be friends with people I already see all the time?" I remember asking my friend. Then, one boring day at work led to the creation of a profile, and I've been hooked since. My aunt and uncle asked me the other day how long I spent, per day, on the networking site. I hemmed and hawed at first: "Well... I'm in online classes, so I've got the internet up pretty much all the time, and just check in periodically." But then, considering the hour or two I'll spend on Facebook in bed before falling asleep... I answered with embarrassment, "Probably a couple hours a day." Their widened eyes and "Seriously??" responses made me check myself. Do I ACTUALLY spend that much time on a networking site every day?

I wrote my discussion post on "Unplugging"-- suggesting that teachers assign students to "unplug" from all electronics for a week. People responded that it was an intriguing idea, but I have to wonder if I would be able to unplug for a week. Could I check email just once per day...? Could I peace out from Facebook for a week? Could I avoid texting my friends, and call them instead, even if it was just to communicate a minute detail? I'm honestly not sure... But reading "The Machine Stops" made me want to try!

EDTC Module 3 Post

In reading this week's assigned reading which addressed where U.S. students' are at in the global scheme of technology comprehension and use, I found myself reflecting on the different countries I've been to, and whether or not that claim seems to line up. Certainly, the students that I worked with last year impressed me to no end with their technological savvy; from that perspective, U.S. students seem to be hanging in just fine. I've visited a number of countries in Europe, and I remember feeling that my tech know-how seemed pretty comparable to the people I was meeting. In Africa, I would say that technology was much less a part of every day life; the U.S. would be considered "at an advantage" in comparison there. However, when seeing the steps that countries like China, Australia, and South Korea are implementing to ensure their students achieve technological prowess, it seems as though our own American attempts are a bit lackluster. Furthermore, when reading articles about the hours that students spend in classrooms in countries like Japan, I admit, I worry about our kids keeping up in general-- in technology, or any other subject.

Is this okay, I wonder? Does America need to continue being the BEST in everything? Certainly, I think, we should try to achieve that excellence in our kids' education. But unless we agree to longer hours in school- something that no one likely wants to agree to-- and until education starts getting the funding it needs and deserves, I question how competitive our educational system will be in the global scheme.

Do Your Homework, then Throw it Away

Blog post for Module 2, EDTC "Learning with Technology"

As I read through my education books, I'm constantly encountering new descriptions of methods and philosophies and lesson templates and unit plans and approaches and ideas... And inevitably, about every SINGLE one, part of me will think, "Yes! Want to do that too!" For instance: in reading about wiki sites and online networks and blogs and so on for this "Learning with Technology" class, I come up with ideas of how to incorporate that into my English teaching curriculum. I think of how a whole UNIT could be shaped around a class wiki site-- students could post daily reflections and build projects within the site. Then however, I work on my "Survey Instructional Strategies" class. I read chapters about Inductive learning and Inquiry Method-- and think, "Yes! That too!" I imagine how I could incorporate those strategies into introducing literature, or making hypotheses about characters. In my head, once again, I've got several lessons planned out, using these methods. Then I work on my "Moral Issues in Education" class and read about instilling values in students, and discussing ethics, and raising deep questions, and leading students to form moral character, and think "Yes! Of course that one, that is IMPORTANT!" Once again, my hypothetical class is suddenly consumed in a flurry of activity: this time, engaging in deep discussions, getting into heated debates about moral issues, and wrestling daily with matters of the heart and soul.

But what actual teacher could manage all these things in one unit, for one class-- in one year?? And what kind of superhuman student could possibly process all the different directions these frenzied activities were taking him or her in?

Of course, some of these different activities can be done simultaneously-- kids can reflect on philosophy and moral quandaries ON a wiki site-- but the basic problem remains. After all: these are just the three classes that I'm working on this QUARTER. If I tried to pack every learning theory and method into my teaching that I've learned through this entire graduate school program (not to mention every other lesson I've ever learned in my life)... I imagine I would end up being astoundingly terrible at teaching. There would be NO time for basic processing.

One of my favorite theatre directors in high-school used to tell us, "Do your homework, and then throw it away." After being cast in a play, we were expected to do extensive script work and character analysis-- forming a character background and history... examining "objectives" behind different lines, and so on. This all was meant to enhance our performance. However, if, every time we were on stage, we were thinking, "Do THIS objective now. Remember the moment of your character's childhood that relates to this line! Make sure you move to the correct place on stage!"--- the performance would inevitably be stilted and jarring. It would be wooden, contrived, forced. Therefore, our teacher told us: "Do your homework... but then throw it away." The idea was to have all these tools at our disposal-- but in the actual performance, we had to just let it go. We had to play it IN the moment, and go with our gut, and our heart, trusting that the work we had done would guide us in the subtle way it needed to.

I conclude-- I think-- that teaching must go the same way. I have learned, at this point, MANY different methods of teaching, all which promise to be effective. This week's inductive and inquiry learning are two more "tools" to add to my teaching arsenal. But I think, after learning all this, what I'll ultimately need to do is "throw it away." I will need to go into my classrooms with open eyes-- I will need to analyze what my students need most, what their responses are to different types of lessons, how they seem to process best, and what teaching method will work best with THIS particular group, to accomplish THIS particular learning objective. I'll need to play it IN the moment, and go with my gut, and my heart. I've done my homework-- and I'll continue to do it. But I think-- in order to really teach effectively-- there comes a point where we need to throw it away.

Extra Curricular Events

1.) Chaperoned the Halloween Dance (Oct.)

My main recollection of this experience was how uncomfortable it was seeing middle-school girls "get down," and try to be sexy by dancing provocatively in their skimpy costumes. I kept thinking, "Ack! You're little girls!" Was spared the sight of mutual pelvic gyrations however, which was a relief-- most of the kids were actually pretty good about refraining from PDH's-- "public displays of hormones." I elected to dress up because I'd been encouraged to do so by the other teachers-- I threw on a hideous neon-purple track suit that I'd found at a thrift store the year before. Unfortunately, since none of the other teachers dressed up, and since the kids hadn't gotten to know me especially well at that point, I think most of the kids just assumed that the suit was what I put on for "casual clothes." Teaching, be not proud.


2.) Attended the boys' varsity basketball game (Feb.)

This was so exciting! Our boys were on a streak this year, and ended up going all the way to state! Our school is a funky little place, and we had just received the news that the district would be closing down our school. The boys' incredible basketball success immediately after the gavel came down almost seemed to be an act of defiance against that decision. I watched them play a small private school-- watched them go up against clean-cut Caucasian boys in new uniforms, watched the opposing school's large cheer squad perform flips and lifts and throws in their immaculate uniforms, their hairsprayed pony-tails... And then cheered myself hoarse, watching our boys make basket after basket, watch two of our girls run out in front of our crowd and shake their long hippie hair, and holler out make-shift cheers. What an incredible morale booster! It made me love my odd little school so ferociously, and gave me such a sense of pride in who these kids are and in their fighting spirit.

3.) Theatre Field Trip to Bellingham

This experience was described at length in an earlier trio of blogs.

4.) Youth Speaks Poetry Slam at the Seattle Town Hall (May)

Our poetry teacher, Karen, had invited all of our students to attend the Youth Poetry Slam at the Town Hall, which she was co-hosting-- Viola and I promised to give extra credit to anyone who attended. I ended up chaperoning five of our students, and had an unbelievable time. Not only were the young performer poets outstanding, but to see my kids' reactions was indescribably moving. One boy didn't say much, but clapped adamantly after each performer, and discussed them all at length after the performance. Another boy cried during several of the poets' performances, he was so moved; he said afterwards, "I want to go home and write in my journal all weekend!" I wrote afterwards in my journal, "The kids were absolutely enthralled. What a gift to watch them watching, and to see them SEEING!" To have my students witness firsthand the power of writing through these cool young poets who looked like them-- for my students to recognize writing's ability to communicate ideas and to reconcile one to oneself-- was a priceless testimony. This was perhaps one of my favorite nights of the year.

5.) Host/Emcee for "One Last Glimpse," a performing-arts talent show/showcase for current students and alumni (May)

I co-hosted this event with another young teacher, Derek, and we had a blast. Our "shtick" of the evening was that we felt insulted to have been asked to HOST, rather than be part of the actual featured "talent"; we therefore tried to "prove" our various talents throughout the showcase during our intermittent hosting segments. It started off with a goofy folk-song from me, then Derek continued the pretense by attempting yoga-- in a tight blue tank top and women's yoga pants no less. We came on together during the second act, doing interpretative dance to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" and ended with an over the top rap, performed by me (in the afore-pictured track suit, with Ray Ban sunglasses, and curly blond hair under a black cap), backed up by Derek's arrhythmic beat-boxing. The occasional was a sentimental one, as it will be our school's last performance showcase; there was a slide show commemorating many of our school's moments over the years, which was accompanied by touching quotes. Many people cried. People said afterwards that the silliness of what Derek and I did provided much needed comic-relief, and helped everyone continue on with the show. It was an honor to be asked to host such an emotionally significant occasion for my school, and I felt extremely privileged to be asked, as a student teacher, to take on the responsibility. It made me realize how invested I've become in this community, and how invested they've become in me.

6.) "Oliver!"-- our school's musical! (June)

This was a massive undertaking! I worked as the assistant director and choreographer for the musical to help fulfil my theatre endorsement, which eventually culminated in rehearsals until l0:00 pm, an entire weekend devoted to being at school for the play (during grad school finals week, OUCH), and the performance of endless random tasks, such as...
- Coming up with theatre exercises and games on the spot, to occupy kids that were unoccupied
- Choreographing at a moment's notice and with no prior warning: "Greta, you can choreograph 'Be Back Soon' today, right? Like-- now? OKAY, MIDDLE-SCHOOLERS, GO WITH GRETA!"
- Blocking/directing scenes on the spot
- Re-blocking scenes after getting onto our raked stage
- Choreographing fight scenes
- Working with kids one-on-one and in groups, on character development and their acting
- Helping the kids with stage make-up
- Helping the kids with their costumes
- Helping the kids with their hair
- Improvising new pocket handkerchiefs every night after the middle-schoolers continued to lose them-- EVERY NIGHT
- Running around during the show, resolving sound issues, prop problems, costume malfunctions-- running down to the orchestra pit, in one instance, with a sign for Fagin (the lead) to "TURN YOUR MIC ON!!" before his last big number.
- Endless clean-up after the show and wrangling of middle-schooler-cleaner-uppers

To name only a few...

For the reader's enjoyment, here are the two main numbers I choreographed, though there's plenty more where these came from!




Although being involved with the musical was at times an overwhelming undertaking, especially since it came when I was doing my full-time student teaching and trying to keep myself afloat in grad school classes as well, I hugely enjoyed it. I loved being able to incorporate my love for theatre and my dance background with my teaching, and I got know my students in a different venue and in a different light. I felt immensely proud of them for pulling off such a great show!

*We were only required to have six extra-curricular events, but chaperoning prom deserves a mention as well... Was sardonically addressed in this blog!

Observing... Myself

Observations on a self-recorded video in fulfillment of an accreditation requirement.

This observed video was recorded during a lesson on "Theme," which was introduced after it became apparent via a final test that my students, surprisingly, weren't comfortable readily identifying and recognizing themes. I gave a brief Powerpoint lecture on the different elements of how/where/when/through-whom themes can present themselves in a story. Then, to give the kids practice discussing and identifying themes, I read them a couple of children's stories:


... Which is mostly all pictures, and...


... Which was cool because it's a West-African story; since Things Fall Apart , the novel we'd been reading, takes place in Nigeria, I thought it would be fun to use stories from the same area.

The first taped portion of the video includes both the powerpoint lecture and the two children's stories that I read aloud.

After the children's stories, the kids broke up into small groups to discuss Things Fall Apart; they were asked to come up with two themes and a possible "moral of the story." The second video depicts me facilitating the kids' reported conclusions from their small group discussions; after each group supplied their ideas, we launched into an all-class discussion about the book, which was also taped.

Observations during the lecture:
- I use lots of gestures.
- Beck and Haven (who were right by the computer and therefore right by the microphone) talk more than I realized... Should perhaps address that...
- I have a nice loud "teacher voice."
- Classroom management techniques:
----> "There's some side chatter, which I'm not happy about."
----> "Okay girls, if you have something to say, please raise your hand."
----> "I'll wait."
- I'm good at affirming students' responses-- "Excellent." "I like it."
- Needed to pass out paper at one point-- perhaps should have had a student do that. Oh! I did. Never mind. "Thanks for passing out the paper, Alex..."
- I use funny voices a lot-- both when reading the stories, and just periodically throughout class... Will slip into accents. Usually makes the kids laugh!
- Another classroom management technique to get them "back together" after the kids got out paper/pen, etc. for note-taking:
----> "Alright, focus up here!"
- I use lots of pictures/images in my powerpoints
- Also give LOTS of examples for the different points... Many examples from novels, some from popular movies. I tend to paraphrase the points on the powerpoint slides while the kids are jotting down notes; rephrase it in a less formal vernacular.
- I don't say "Um" much, which I thought I did! That's good.
... Do, apparently, say "You know" a lot however. Which could be improved. (At least the overused phrase acts as a formative assessment though, yes?)
- I use TONS of gestures!
- When I'm talking, the kids are really quiet. Yay! Could possibly be because they're note-taking. But that could be considered an effective management/assessment technique, methinks.
- I ask the kids to provide examples, often.
- At one point I search for a relevant quote from the book... Should have had that quote marked already.
- Classroom management technique:
----> "Justice, I'm sorry, can you wait until everyone's ready and has stopped talking?"
- I go over the main points from the Powerpoint at the end of the lecture.

Observations during the story-time:
- I allow the kids to murmur/respond/comment during the first story, which is primarily illustrated with only a few words.
- I occasionally tell anecdotes as they're relevant
- The kids LOVE the voices!
- I touch my hair a lot, which is distracting-- at least to someone watching the video! In the next video segment, I've put it back, which is good.

Observations during the class discussion:
- I hear students' ideas, will usually verbally repeat them, then validate them for what is merit-worthy, and elaborate on their ideas.
- I have each group contribute answers.
- I provide some leading questions, and then let the kids contribute from there.
- Typically, when I see a number of different hands up, I'll say, "Okay, we'll have Brandon, then Kimmy, Lara, Max, and Rakeesh." The kids then put their hands down, because they know what order they'll be speaking in.
- Classroom management technique:
----> Sometimes I use hand signals-- like just reaching my hand in the direction of a talking student with my hand/wrist flexed, like, "Stop"-- to quiet kids down.
----> "Can we stop the side chatter please?"


Overall, I think this was a good lesson. I felt I broke it up into several different parts-- the introduction, the lecture, the stories, the small group discussion, the large group discussion, and then we capped the whole thing off with some Ethiopian food. Yum! I felt I did a good job keeping the kids engaged with my hand gestures, voices, providing of and asking for examples, and kept things interesting by throwing in an occasional anecdote. Although there are a few things I could have improved upon, like having the quote ready from the book, or perhaps having the kids present their theme/moral-of-the-story ideas from up front (would have been an excuse for them to stretch their legs!), I think the lesson and my instruction was overall, pretty solid.

The Positive Propaganda Project

Our last book of the year has been Animal Farm, which we've read aloud in class. Animal Farm is an allegorical representation of the Russian Revolution, and propaganda is a huge theme, both in the book and in what actually happened when Stalin was in charge. I did a huge lesson last Wednesday and Thursday on different techniques of propaganda, and we thought of tons of examples from the book, from our prior knowledge of history, and from contemporary culture.

Anyway: at the end of the class, I said, "This is the point. You all run into a LOT of negative messages every day-- from advertisers, from graffiti on the bathroom walls, maybe even from yourself... And so for our final project, we're going to do something to counter that. Your mission-- and you must accept it, because it's required-- is to spread a little sunshine and butterflies. You need to figure out a way to spread a POSITIVE message."

I gave them some examples-- a mural on the wall--


A flier on the street--


I told them about a bad day I'd once had and how I had been scowling on a street corner, when suddenly I heard, "Good luck!" and noticed a stranger raise his eyebrows at me and continue on his trek. It totally turned my mood around.

"This doesn't have to be big-- and it CAN'T BE ILLEGAL," I said. "NO GRAFFITI, even if you think it's positive! (Unless you get a letter from the building owner, proving that you got permission.) But figure out a way to spread a positive message. Think of someone you know that needs to hear a good message. Maybe it's your friends. Maybe it's yourself. You could write positive notes to yourself and put them all around your room. Maybe you want to go give notes to strangers. Okay?"

Some kids were resistant. "I'm not a positive person! I can't think of anything!"
"Well, think of it as propaganda then. You don't HAVE to necessarily think it's true. But this is an exercise to stretch your thinking and behavior, just like any other exercise or assignment."
"What if my message is 'Being negative is the new positive'?"
"Sorry. Look at the definition of positive. That is not it. This should be something that would be seen almost universally as positive."

Clark-- one of our school's strangest young lads-- ran in circles outside, where I had moved the class because of the heat. "I have an idea!" he said, frolicking around the pine tree.
"What?"
"My message is going to be, 'Everyone POOPS!'"
I sighed. "Clark, can't you think of something just a LITTLE more PC?"

However: most of the kids loved the idea.

Today I heard the different stories of what the kids did. And you guys? My students are so awesome.

Fernanda and Kelsey went to Greenlake, and wrote huge chalk messages on the circle loop: "Have a great day!" "Smile!" "You're beautiful!" They handed out flowers and notes to people. Fernanda told one story of spotting a harried mom, wrangling four kids. She said that she'd gone up to the mother and handed her a note that said, "You're appreciated." The mom almost started crying and said, "Wow... THANK you!"

Audrina, Shana, and Tanelle went down-town with a huge block of post-it notes and put them EVERYWHERE. At one point they sat on the top floor of the mall, and handed notes out to each new person getting off the escalator. They put the post-its on bulletin boards, they fought over interesting looking people to give them to. Audrina gave a note to a police-man who had just finished arresting a tweaked-out homeless man. The note that she gave him said, "You're needed." He apparently looked down at her and said in a deep voice, "Wooow. You know, that's pretty cool. You girls come back down here anytime you want, okay?"

Rakeesh, one of the sweetest young men I have, approached the project by infusing his daily life with these intentional moments of positivity. When he got home last Friday he noticed that his mother was in a horrible mood and didn't want to talk to anyone. He told her, "You know, you're my hero." She looked at him with an odd expression and said, "What are you doing?" Later that weekend, he tried to think of a way that he could help his dad, so he did all of his homework, and showed his pop-- who was happy. He went to the community center and saw an old lady that looked tired, and said something kind to her. My favorite story from Rakeesh though was when he was playing basketball at Greenlake. He saw another guy bullying other people on the courts-- saying rude things, and trying to run them off his court. Rakeesh-- who is an African immigrant who speaks broken English, and has a stutter on top of it-- approached this guy, completely intimidated, but intent on spreading his "Positive Propaganda" all the same. He told this guy, "Whatever you're going through, I just want to say, it's going to be okay." The guy looked at him, walked away, and didn't bother anyone else on the courts.

To hear that Rakeesh had had the courage to not only approach this guy, but then to say something that wasn't confrontational, but rather KIND, forgiving, understanding, and humble, blew me away. It just floored me-- I felt incredibly moved.

Clark ended up spreading the message, "Wash your hands!" And after several consulting sessions with the girl who had been so determined to be negative, she ended up giving notes to her friends that most needed to hear how incredible they are-- a message that this girl needs to hear herself, in my opinion. Malia wrote long poems to her friends that she knew were going through really difficult times-- several of them cried when they got them, and Malia herself almost started crying when she talked about her project. Kelly made little scrolls with positive quotes and gave them out to people-- she saw one girl on the bus who looked angry and upset, and handed her a scroll just before she got off the bus. The girl's face completely changed and she got up and hugged Kelly.

All around the school have been fliers-- "There is no smiling face that is not beautiful"-- and little notes found in the bathroom, on the desks, passed out: "You're awesome." "You're the bees knees." "Every breath you take counts, every word you say is worthy, every smile your lips give is heaven, every moment in your life is worth the watch, every single time your heart beats is a miracle.” Kids are passing out flowers and chocolate-- I've gotten several cards from kids who decided to target teachers especially.

It's everywhere!

Moments like this make me feel so inspired by my students-- in my efforts to help them be better people, I feel inspired to be a better person. What a wonderfully, infectiously HAPPY task it is to help people. It's contagious-- it makes the helper happy! It makes you want to help more.

And I think my kids are realizing the same thing. :)

Student Teaching Internship Reflection

I'll reflect on the year by examining the "epiphany" moments that helped me get to where I'm at. Many of these will have been written about in previous blogs; when appropriate, I've provided links.

First and foremost:

I LOVE THIS:
Blogs like, "Okay Phew," "Letter Writing to Ligia," "Those Days," and "Bubbling Over" are evidence of the deep joy and excitement teaching brings me. Although many Monday mornings still find me with butterflies in my stomach, they flee as soon as I turn the corner in front of the school and see my students milling around in front of the building. I love my students, and I love this job. I've also realized this year that I'm good at it; the students respond to my lessons and have told me repeatedly that I make learning fun, that I make it interesting. They know I care about them, which I deeply, truly do. I've realized-- and have been told by my mentor and other observing teachers-- that classroom management is a strong point for me. I know when to be serious and draw hard lines, I know when a joking reprimand is sufficient, I know when to call a kid out in the hallway for a serious conversation, I know how to use humor, and I know how to show my kids that I expect them to respect me because I respect them; that I expect them to be kind to others because I am kind to them. Although I know there's still room for improvement in this area-- especially as I continue to solidify the "I am the TEACHER" line, I believe that this is going to be an area that I can call a strength. I do feel meant to do this. I feel called to be a teacher, and this year has been confirmation that this will be a fulfilling, enjoyable life calling-- one that blends my passions with my capabilities. I do LOVE this.

I Need to QTIP:
An acronym for, "Quit Taking it Personally." The phrase was provided to me by another new teacher my first week of school; though I've yet to take it fully to heart, as evidenced by this post written in April, this is a principle I know I need to continue to internalize. When the 3rd period students turned into hellions this last Wednesday for example, it wasn't about me; it was more likely because our classroom was almost 90 degrees. Or because the novelty of being taught by a student intern is finally wearing off, and they're finally in the mood to test me. Or because several of the kids were just in grumpy moods. The same lesson went well for the other three language arts periods, and Viola has consistently said that my classroom management skills are one of my top strengths as a teacher. Still, when kids were saying blatantly rude things... it was hard not to take it personally. However, if I'm going to survive as a teacher and avoid burn-out, I need to make sure I'm keeping the "Q" portion of the "QTIP."

Small Victories Are Victories:
Especially when working with students who aren't on the AP track, or the Ivy League route, or who have absent parental support, the small victories with these kids are a big deal. This doesn't mean that I don't hold my kids to high standards, because they're expected to achieve big victories as well. However, for some of these kids, certain moments that may have seemed insignificant on paper have been truly momentous from a psychological or emotional stand-point, and ones that I can take great joy from.

One-on-Ones Work:
Kids don't like being "managed," i.e. disciplined in front of their peers. It's humiliating, and they'll almost always try to lash out to save face. However, get them out in the hallway, talk to them like a real person, start off on a gentle note, and they're usually completely reasonable. I've enjoyed the one-on-one chats this year because, not only have them helped me effectively manage difficult students, but they've also helped me build very real relationships with my kids. Next year, I definitely intend to continue handling the more difficult moments or issues with a hallway chat.

It Works to Be Myself:
I truly care about these kids. I think in metaphors frequently. I was a theatre major in college and have a substantial dance back-ground. I play guitar and write songs. I am genuinely interested in what my students have to say. All these very authentic aspects of myself have led to-- surprise-- some of my most effective instruction, and have been instrumental in building strong relationships with my students. Additionally, it's much less exhausting if I'm teaching as MYSELF than if I'm trying to project a different persona.

With that said however...

It Also Works to Be the Teacher:
There was a moment this year when I complimented one of my third period girls on her outfit. I remember her giving me a look that said, "Weird..." and then she shook her hair out of her face and sat down at her desk. I remember thinking in that moment, "I didn't respect teachers in high-school that tried to be like me, or that tried to be my 'friend.' I respected teachers that KNEW what they were talking about, that showed me respect, and that clearly had control as the TEACHER." That realization was what transitioned me from trying to be these students' "buddy," to being, truly, their teacher. It's also when my classroom management stepped up a serious notch; I became much more comfortable drawing hard lines when necessary. This lesson was further reinforced by a field trip to Bellingham. Although it's been a journey getting to the point of having a clearly established LINE with my students, I feel like I'm there.

Sometimes Hard Lessons are Important Lessons: I still struggle sometimes with letting kids learn the hard way. If a failing student comes to me with an extremely late essay, for example, I'll typically accept it for reduced credit, even if the kids have been told essays won't be accepted past a certain date. "But he DID the essay...!" I'll think to myself, and inevitably I'll give the student some points. Perhaps responding this way teaches its own kind of lesson; perhaps students that have felt discouraged and incompetent for always failing will get a much needed boost of encouragement that may lead them to more motivated efforts in the future. However, a big part of me feels that kids need to learn the lessons of the "real world"-- that, if they miss a dead-line, there are very real consequences. Part of establishing myself as that TEACHER is proving myself to be consistent. This is still a growing edge for me, but one I'm certainly working on.

And finally:

I've Been Blessed With a Great Mentor:
A reflection on this year wouldn't be complete without expressing just how much I have been helped, impacted, and guided by my mentor, Viola. Viola, as Matt my SPU Supervisor put it, has been like a great parent: she scolded when she needed to and provided necessary correction, but also provided consistent encouragement and affirmation when it was deserved. Viola has forced me to acknowledge difficult lessons that I needed to learn, yet has also helped me through discouraging days. I have learned to trust her judgment with these kids, and it's been so incredibly helpful to have her to confer with about students or lessons, especially as I've moved into teaching full time. She's been so FUN to work with, and even taught me the nitty-gritties of grammar. :) I'm not sure how I'll thank her sufficiently when the year ends, but she deserves every bit of what I come up with. What a blessing to have worked with such a competent teacher and advisor!

Friday Fairy Tales

Today was a bizarre day scheduling-wise. Since our school is closing, our kids are being farmed out to a bunch of different high-schools; today, many representatives from the other schools came to ours, to touch base with their respective kids. It was also "Field Day," i.e. the day where the whole school has one giant recess.

This meant that I only had five students in 5th period. And, those five kiddos were only going to be there for about 20 minutes.

"Do you guys want to blog...?" I asked. "That's what the other classes did, it's an extra credit option..."

"No, let's hang out and talk!" Andy said, plopping down on the floor in front of the fan. "Socratic Seminar!"
"Let's tell fairy tales!" said Maisie, and sat down beside him.

We've been discussing allegory this week, which ties into our unit on Animal Farm. The extra-credit blog option was to create their own allegorical story. We could work that into fairy tales...

I sat down with them and the couple remaining kids followed suit. "We could tell ALLEGORICAL fairy-tales..." I offered. "About our own lives."

Andy-- forever the catalyst-- grinned and said, "You first! Lead by example!"

I thought for a second. "Once upon a time... There was a young maiden. She LOOKED like she was fifteen, but actually she was much older..."

The kids laughed-- Maisie gives me endless grief about how young I look.

I continued: "And she was in charge of teaching all the little squirrels and birds of the forest. That's you," I clarified. The kids grinned and nodded. "And... sometimes the birds would get distracted from their lessons and fly away... and sometimes the squirrels would chatter really loud, but the maiden liked them all anyway. And she would often spend long hours going to collect water and food for the animals after they had gone to sleep. And one day, she met a fairy godmother, and got to make a wish," I said.

"Actually--" I paused. "She got two wishes. Because I want two wishes. Actually--" I paused again. "She got three wishes."

The kids laughed.

"The first wish was that the birds and the squirrels would always know how much POTENTIAL they had," I said. "The second wish was that SHE would always remember how much potential they had. The third wish was for a magic wand that would silence their voice-boxes when they chattered too much." The kids cracked up again.

Maisie's fairy tale started off like so: "Once there was a peasant girl... Who was born to two OBNOXIOUS gypsies. And one day, she started walking towards the castle, towards the kingdom... And she saw a prince who was a JERK-FACED LOSER, and she fell in love with him... And then, you know. He was awful."

"So he was an evil prince in disguise as a handsome knight?" I asked.

"Yes! That's exactly what he was," she pronounced.

Andy's story began, "So there was this CASANOVA..." which made me laugh. Then he continued to tell a story that was very much a straight-forward version of his own, albeit told in third person. "He went to get educated, but... Things kinda got hard. He wanted to go off and be this big shot business man, but, you know..." He shrugged and looked at me, his face a little crestfallen. Andy is very smart, but has failed many of his classes, including ours.

I interrupted him. "And then HE met a fairy godmother, and she told him that he was young and that it was EARLY in his life, and that he still had every chance in the world to become a hot-shot business man."

The stories ended up working with the allegorical theme-- Fiona equated her and her siblings to three different kinds of suitcases, and even though Tommy didn't quite understand how to translate his story into allegorical characters, we worked it out together.

So the Friday Fairy tales ended up being a pretty great way to wind down those 20 minutes. "And they all lived happily ever after..."

Sure hope so.

The Difference Between Prom and Weddings

Blog originally published May 25th

One friend commented on my last blog, saying that she wished we could all go to prom again as adults. I thought, "Haha! That WOULD be fun!" but then thought: "Wait... aren't going to weddings sort of the adult version of prom?" After all-- both involve boutonnieres, dancing, and dresses. But, it turns out, they are not the same.

This is why:

1.) Weddings usually involve drinking. In fact, there are featured toasts-- there is GLORIFIED drinking. Proms mean no drinking OR ELSE. If it is done, it is done covertly. And chaperones must not drink at all. If they do, they get their certification taken away. If the chaperone is a student-teaching intern, and is essentially a glorified volunteer, there would be no way to strip her of her certification, but she WOULD get a big scowl.

2.) At prom, you vote on the king and queen and it's revealed as a big surprise. At weddings, you pretty much know.

3.) At weddings, you don't have to worry so much about a 9th grader asking you to dance. And if it DID happen at a wedding, you could just laugh about it and humor the kid, rather than awkwardly avoiding the question and then going to hide behind your mentor.

4.) At weddings, there's one MAIN couple, and if they get a little dirty on the dance floor, everyone just thinks it's cute. At prom, there are lots of thrown-together couples, and they ALL get dirty on the dance floor, and it's gross.

5.) At prom, there are no humiliating bouquet tosses where the single 20-somethings out slink out and acknowledge with a wave and a grim smile, "Yep! Still coming out for these...!"

6.) At weddings, you don't have to worry so much about students needing to explain to their dates, "No, she's actually a teacher. I know, she looks YOUNG, huh??"

7.) At prom, there are treats. At weddings, there are buffets.

8.) At weddings, you can dance however you want. At prom-- if you're chaperoning, anyway-- you have to make sure you don't move your hips around too much.

9.) At weddings, you're usually not worried about acne anymore.

10.) At weddings, there is lots of crying. At prom, there is lots of grinding.

Some things really are the same though... The girls spend all day long getting ready. The guys throw on a tux, brush their hair, and call it good... The DJs are bad, no matter what... Everyone always looks great, all cleaned up... There are awkward slow dances at both, and awkward conversations and both, and let's be real, do we EVER move beyond the awkward stage?

But in any case, there is dancing. And there are friends. And there are good times. And BOTH occasions provide an excellent excuse to get a new dress...

So celebrate good times, come on.

One of the Ugly Sides of Teenagers...

Blog originally published May 22nd.

One of my freshmen students is a goofy little guy-- he looks like he's about 11, and he has extreme ADHD, so he's always squirming around in class and making noise. He's not very popular-- our kids are, by and large, an extremely accepting crew, as far as I can tell-- but I've still seen this kid get mocked on occasion.

Today he came in late to class, with red swollen eyes. Had he been crying? When we left to go to the library, he said that someone had slapped him across the eyes. He said he didn't know who, because he couldn't see them after they hit him. Right now, he's working on writing a blog, and is trying to act like everything's normal. I just told a girl to focus on her blog when I saw her on another website, and she said, "I have ADD."
"So do I!" this little guy said.
Everyone scoffed.
"Yeah, no kidding."
"No one ASKED you."
"Mind your own business, stop trying to butt into other conversations."

Why are kids so mean? Obviously this little guy can be annoying, but I wish other kids could understand that he DOESN'T pick up social cues like they do... That he CAN'T just "control" his excess energy. Why can't they show him a little grace? It's one thing to snap out in impatience, but to SLAP him?

A couple days ago, I'd called out one of the main kids who bullies this other little guy, and had said sternly-- they know to listen when I get stern like THAT-- that I would not accept bullying my classroom. I said, "Say whatever you want in the halls, but in MY classroom, it is NOT ACCEPTABLE to insult someone else. Ever. Do you understand?"

The boy had muttered some form of acknowledgment.

"Eduardo, do you understand?" I said again, louder and more forcefully.

"Yes ma'am!" he'd replied.

Yet today, my little goofy guy came in with red swollen eyes.

It puts such a frown on my face.

Anyway, I'm going to prom tonight. As a chaperone. Should be interesting...!

Spirit Week

Blog originally published May 14th

This week has been Spirit Week. Some people poo-poo dressing up for Spirit Week. I am not one of those people. My outfits so far have included:

Wacky Tacky Day:
THIS dress--


(Second from the left, in the wacky tacky dress.)

Plus THIS jacket:

Sports Day:
This jersey (I'm on the far left):

Which is actually not a jersey at all, but a sorority shirt. That was the closest I could get. Those are my little small group chickies by the way, aren't they cute??

Decade Day:
Prompted a resurrection of my 50's Housewife Outfit:
THIS on top--


(Except with no pony tail because of new short hair)

And THIS on the bottom:


Also, I carried a wooden spoon.

Today was "School Spirit" day. I didn't have a shirt with my school's name on it, so I asked Viola to bring me something. She found a sweat-shirt for me, but I had to take it off midday, because it got too hot. After my outstanding Spirit Week showing (some might even say, otherworldly) up to that point, I felt a little chastened to be only wearing a navy blue long-sleeved shirt-- only the most basic of nods to one of our school colors. However, I got a second chance to improve my spirit-showing come the Staff/Student Basketball game after lunch...

Viola had asked me several weeks ago if I wanted to play.
"No."
"Why not???"
"I can't play, Viola! I'm seriously terrible."
"I'm going to play! I'm not good, I just get in people's faces!"
"But you're athletic Viola! I-- trust me, I shouldn't play. I'll have fun watching."

But when I got to the gym today, they had T-SHIRTS. They had t-shirts with MY SCHOOL'S name on them. The only condition was that you had to play.

You want a girl to play sports? I mean, THIS girl? Bribe her with clothing.

At first, I really did look like an idiot. I missed every single basket that I threw during warm-ups, and the first time I got out on the court against these big boy seniors, I just sort of skipped around and fluttered my hands at people and ran away from the ball. Every once in awhile I would hear the announcer point out, "Greta's open," which was a point universally ignored by my team.

After the first quarter, I thought it was over. "Yaaay!"
Viola corrected me. "It's not done yet!"
"... Oh!"

The kids were cheering loud, and the staff was INTO it-- from the young dude teachers, to the middle-aged pot-bellied folks who rocked the casbah like nobody's BUSINESS. Seriously-- Paul? Was an ANIMAL! The ladies represented on the court one at a time-- and-- I'm a little embarrassed to admit-- my sex was pretty terrible. Evelyn, Viola, Patti, Karen and I held down the court (get it?? COURT?) but not very well. As I was the youngest girl by about 20 years, I decided I needed to step it up.

So I DID.

Y'all-- I made no baskets. None at all. And when the announcer pointed out yet again, "Greta's open," my team-mates still knew better than to pass me the ball. BUT: I ran, I blocked, I JUMPED, I got knocked over and popped back up, I got my hands in the big boys' faces, and I was SCRAPPY, dang it. Viola told me later that she and another teacher were laughing. "At first she looked kind of scared out there!" Viola apparently told Josh. "Now it looks like she's going to foul out!"

U know it.

And even though I thought the game had ended again at half-time-- and was once again corrected by my astute mentor-- I got high-fives from the kids afterwards, got a rallying cry with my staff, and got kudos from the kids who had watched and told me that I looked "tough."

And-- (perhaps not *best* of all, but most WEARABLE of all):

I got a SWEET school t-shirt. Our school's name is on the front. And our slogan-- all the "U KNOW" of it-- is on the back.


The moral of the story? Play. Play anyway. Even if you suck. Even if you look ridiculous.

There might just be t-shirts.

Dancedancedancedancedancedance

Blog originally published May 6th

Today we had an African Dance assembly. Cool!

I shepherded in my group of 9th graders, and we joined the 9th/10th grade section. One sweet girl gave me a note as she sat down, for Teacher Appreciation week. It read: "Greta is... An amazing singer and a WONDERFUL teacher!!" It gave me the warm fuzzies all over.

At one point, the girls in front of me were talking, and I rubbed one girl's back gently. "Hon, quiet down." She turned around with a scowl, but when she saw it was me, she relaxed and grinned, nodding her compliance.

The music started, and the kids all started clapping along, terribly out of rhythm. It made me laugh and like them.

Then the African Dancing Singer Lady ordered all the teachers to get up on stage. What? Really?

I joined the rest of them, the lot of us laughing self-consciously. Once we were up there, the African Dancing Singer Lady told us we were going to dance. From my 9th and 10th grade corner, I heard a roar: "Gooooo Greta!!"

Ha!

And the music started, and I DANCED. Oh yes, I DID DANCE. I danced AFRICAN dance. And I was into it. I was in front, so I couldn't see what the other teachers looked like-- apparently they were "marking" the movements that the lady was instructing us in. But they were behind me, so I just tried to make myself look like her. And I did the DANCING DANCING, I DID THE DANCE.

When we were done, the kids all clapped and cheered, and when I booped and bopped my way down the stairs, they all started giving me high-fives. I got back to my corner of kids and they were all congratulating me! As they filed out of the assembly, I got one high-five after another, and kudos from the kids on my dancing. When I found out I was apparently doing it "bigger" than the other teachers, I felt a little embarrassed, but the kids' comments made me laugh and grin.

I just LIKE them all so much. I love what I'm doing. Another one of those starry eyed, shmoopy posts. But especially after yesterday, I realized how much I like MY students, and how much I'd missed them. I told them as much, this morning. "I really missed you guys!!"

The other day, the kids were still getting settled in their desks, and I was looking over them all. Eduardo said, "What are you looking at? You're wondering if we love you, huh?"
I grinned and rolled my eyes.
"We like you, don't worry," he said. "You're one of the good ones, we like you."
"Sometimes you get on our nerves, but we like you," another girl supplied.
"I'm sure I do!" I said, and laughed.

Just right then: they like me, but I'm not so buddy buddy with them that I never get on their nerves. When I'm telling them that they need to turn in their homework, or stop talking, or that cursing in their blogs is inappropriate, I SHOULD get on their nerves. But they like me, too.

And I like them. :)

Such a good thing.

Bubbling Over

Blog originally published April 22nd.

It's 9:30pm. I got up this morning at 7:00am, taught all day until 3:15, went to my grad school class from 4:30 to 7:00pm, came home, ate dinner, and now I need to grade the kids' blog comments.

But I can't do that just yet. I am too FULL.

I am too FULL of excitement, and joy, and inspiration. I LOVE what I'm doing. I love this job! I LOVE teaching!

In the morning, I still sometimes get anxious, and get little butterflies in my stomach. And then I pull into school, and I see all my students-- hanging out, talking, smoking outside the nearby cafe, in their funky outfits-- and I get so EXCITED to see them! I get so excited to talk to them about what they're doing THAT day, what they're thinking TODAY.

I love reading their thoughts on their blogs, and I love reading their comments on one another's. I love seeing a kid like Tre, who got out of juvy earlier this year, who gets contacted by his parole officer all the time, who is HUGE and tough, but who has warmed to Viola and I slowly but surely... I love seeing Tre blog-- write TWO blogs, two whole blogs, when he hasn't turned in a SCRAP of paper all year. And even though the two blogs were about pot and drug cartels (but the first one was about how pot was BAD-- "Things fall apart, like if I have a relapse"), I love that he WROTE, and that he even found a picture to accompany the second! And I love hearing Tre advising his buddy Andre-- who has also been failing all year-- on HIS blog, and I love seeing the two of them check their friend George's blog together and hearing Tre then say, "What?? George hasn't posted anything yet? Loser!"

I loved watching Siaba give a Powerpoint presentation on her childhood in Africa. I loved her passionately describing the city that she lived in, in Cote D'Ivoire, which she pointed out was developed and advanced. And even though I didn't love seeing her break down and cry when describing the war in her country that forced her family to leave, which has killed some of her family members and countrymen, I was unforgettably touched, and moved. And though I ache when I think about the emotional pain she clearly harbors, I love thinking of how we might be able to help her process through some of it by writing, and I love HER.

I love telling them about Tikambe and Clayton-- two of the kiddos that I worked with in Africa-- and seeing the whole class grin as I imitate sweet Clayton's swagger, and tell them about how his cool, sagging jeans always slipped below his naked bum. I love asking the kids to think about joining me in saving money to join up with the Spilling Hope project, to help send money to Uganda to dig fresh-water wells. I loved seeing their eyes change, and grow deep and serious as I told them about how many people die in Africa because of the lack of access to clean water, and I loved that, when I asked them, "Is this something we want to work together towards? I don't want to harass you by forcing you to participate in a charity, but if you want me to bring in a jar or something to collect our change or our cash to help kids like Tikambe or Clayton, I WILL" ... I loved that they told me to YES, bring something in.

I love their poetry. I love their comments on each other's blogs, and their exquisite encouragement of one another. I love their vulnerability, and their strength, and their awkwardness, and their individuality. I love their passion, and their weird outfits. I love their tenacity, and their moods. I love their humor.

Maybe it's not TEACHING so much that I love, but THEM.

No. I love the teaching too.

What a privilege it is, truly-- to be given a role to play in these kids' lives. They are letting me in, and I am overwhelmed and overjoyed with who these kids are. It is the most delightful thing to get to TEACH them-- to invite them and guide them to further discovery.

There are bad days, I know-- I have recorded many a bad day on this blog. But this isn't talking about one SPECIFIC day-- it's not as though I just had one particularly good DAY. This is a bubbling up of the last several weeks-- no, not even that: of the whole year. I have gotten to KNOW these kids... And I love who they are. I love what I'm doing. I love the role I get to play as their teacher.

Whatever difficulties or bad days may come, today, I KNOW: this is what I am meant to do.

And I love that.

The Downside of Spring

Blog originally published April 16th.

Ugh.

Stayed up too late last night having fun with friends, but I'm paying for it now.

Working with 4th period now-- which is typically the angelic focused class-- but they're all over the place today.

Adding to tired grumpiness and crazy 4th-period'ers is the job situation stress: EVERYONE at my school, which is closing down (have I mentioned that...?) is freaking out about jobs, and it is so CONSTANTLY tense.

Adding to tired grumpiness, crazy 4th'ers, and stressed out teachers is the fact that close to 30% of students have skipped class this week.

It's sunny. It's warmer. We're doing standardized tests in the morning, so many kids don't even NEED to show up until 11:15, at which point, they simply don't.

I saw two boys that were absent yesterday at a nearby cafe, when I was driving home after school. Today, I pulled them aside.
"I saw you yesterday at the cafe, but you were gone in class. Tell me... is there ANYTHING I can do to help get you folks to class?"
They were a flurry of protestations and denials.
"No, I'm asking sincerely, I'm truly soliciting your opinion: I know it's spring, the weather's getting nicer... I know that kids are going to want to skip... So what can I do to get people to still come to class?"

"It's not you," one kid replied. "I just didn't feel like coming. There's nothing you can do, it's just us."
I sighed. "We put a lot of effort into planning lessons for you guys that are engaging, and interesting, Kyle. When you don't come... it's hard not to take it personally."
He shrugged. "It's not you. I just didn't want to go."

Last Friday, when we had similarly low attendance, one kid in 5th period said, "So we're talking about Africa and then starting the book, right?"
"Yeah!" I said, laughing. "Do you guys talk to each other out in the halls about what we're doing in class that day?"
He grinned and nodded. "That way we can decide whether or not to come!"
My smile disappeared. "So..." I paused. "How should I interpret the fact that so many people are missing?"
His grin disappeared as well. He shrugged.

It's hard not to take it personally.

I posed the same question to our sparse 4th period today. "We're coming up on the really nice weather. What can I do to get people to come to class? I'm a new teacher, I'm trying to do the best I can to get things right, so tell me: from YOUR perspective... How do I keep you all from skipping class?"
The suggestions were random and mostly joking.
"Give us cupcakes every day!"
"Let us go outside!"

Viola has warned me about the utter disintegration of student focus when taking a class outside. I sighed.

It's not me, they say. Viola, the student, other teachers, say. It's not me. But when I plan these lessons that I think are fun, engaging, IMPORTANT... and 30% of our classes simply don't show up...?

It's hard not to take it personally.

Participation... via Pancake Stories

Blog originally published April 14th

For our blogging project, the kids requested that I create a blog as well. With this blog, my teacher blog for grad school, and now the plethora of blogs created via this class project, you should all be informed that I'm basically taking over the blogging universe.

"Week Two's" prompt read as follows: "Using the internet, find the most unusual, surprising cultural tradition from your own ethnic heritage that you can-- this can be a wedding, funeral, holiday, meal, etc. In your blog, describe the tradition in your OWN words, and your thoughts about what it would be like to experience it firsthand. You're encouraged to describe that imagined experience with detail."

My response then, for MY "class blog."

Responding to Prompt 1:

I’m a mix of many different European “flavors,” but Irish and German probably make up the largest percentages of my respective ethnic pie chart, so I checked out examples of Irish festivities.

On one site, I read about the Irish version of “Fat Tuesday,” which they call, “Shrove Tuesday.” Apparently, when the Irish were experiencing one of their famous famines, they still wanted to observe the gluttony which is commonly practiced with gusto on the day before the Lenten season. However, at the time, with no fats or meats to spare… They only had eggs, milk, and butter with which to feast. So?

They decided to make pancakes.

Every “Fat Tuesday,” the Irish– those particularly in the Dingle region– enthusiastically observe “Pancake Tuesday,” by making and EATING as many pancakes as possible. RANDOM! In earlier days, a girl’s eligibility to be married was apparently equated with her pancake making skills. Bad pancakes… equaled no hubby. Haha!

My imagined Shrove Tuesday experience…

I stared down at the frying pan, already in a sweat. Mama O’Neill– who wasn’t my mother, of course, but who insisted on being called so by everyone under 50– hovered at my elbow. “Remember, dear!” she chuckled in her lilting brogue. “Ye’d best mix it well, ‘lest the men-folk think ye be lackin’ in the kitchen… Or in the bedroom for that matter!” She threw back her head and cackled. “The two go t’gether, so they say!”

I thought of Willy Brian, who I’d promised my first stack to– thought of his ruddy cheeks, and wide, bright smile. I’d made the batch of butter myself, collected from our cow this morning– but had spilled the salt during the churning. I’d tasted it earlier, and had been utterly dismayed by its brackish taste. In vain I’d tried to steal some of mother’s from the larder, but she’d whisked me out the door to attend the Shrove Tuesday festival before I’d had a chance. And here was Mother O’Neill, watching, hawk-eyed, as I mixed up the batter. I felt the sweat roll down my neck.

“Don’t be nervous, lass!” she cackled again. “It’s only your love life at stake!” Her wized wrinkles danced on her face, wiggling in inexplicable patterns as she laughed. “Here.” She shoo’ed me out of the way. “Let me try a bit.”

She lifted a spoon of batter to her mouth, and tried it. Then, with a great cough, she spewed the mixture all over the circle of batter in the frying pan, already cooking. I cringed. She turned to me, her sparkling blue eyes now full of jesting concern.

“Oh darlin’. Ye’d best serve Willy a Guinness or two before you feed him that!”

Sneaky Blogging

Blog originally published April 14th

I'm in second period.

The kids are all working on a Powerpoint project.

And I am blogging.

(Sneakily.)

Last week was exhausting: there was a ton of upfront "teacher time" which required massive energy on my part. We started a new book on Friday, and so I read the first 20 pages of Things Fall Apart in a nice clear, loud, expressive voice to FOUR different periods.

Fell asleep that Friday at 9:30pm. Woke up the next morning at 9am. Was knackered indeed, and relished every minute of those 11.5 sleeping hours.

After that, I resolved, "Less of me; more of them." I believe students learn better by discovering new information on their own anyway-- it helps them learn better and also keeps ME from crashing and burning.

Still: I now have time to sneaky blog, and can't help feeling guilty. Eep.

That's all for now-- should supervise the kiddos!

Flip Flop

Blog initially published on April 8th

Not referring to the sandals today. Unfortunately.

Today, I started my official "full-time" teaching for the next eight weeks. This means: I'm the boss.

Sort of.

In any case, it means: I'm the one doing the teaching. I'd planned a technologically whoop-de-doo lesson to kick off our new unit on Things Fall Apart, which entailed setting up all our students with blogs. I was nervous that things wouldn't work or that kids wouldn't like it, and blah blah blah, and was NERVOUS.

Also, ack: full time now! Equals NERVOUS.

So third period, I was nervous, and couldn't talk, and bumbled my way through the lesson. There were some frustrating classroom management moments (just a few kids in particular who DO tend to be difficult-- not, I hope, just for me) and at the end of the lesson I thought:

"I'm going to burn out so fast. Why did I pick this as a career? This is hard. The kids are hard. Thinking up lessons every day is hard. Trying to sell the kids on the lessons is hard. Why didn't I just choose a job that entails worrying about ME, not the learning and educations of all these kids? Is it too soon to start a second career? My second career was going to be relationship counseling, but I haven't been married yet. My second career was supposed to start after my first career but my first career hasn't started yet. I'm probably not even going to be able to find a job next year. What am I gonna dooooooo, BAAAAAH."

Etcetera.

But then fifth period (we only had third and fifth today, since it was a Block day) saved me. I know: FIFTH period! The notoriously difficult period! But I had my sea-legs at that point, and was comfortable giving the lesson, and the kids were good during class, and had fun starting up their blogs. So then after THAT class, I thought:

"I can do this. It's fun. It's engaging. I'm good at thinking up creative lessons. I'm good-- mostly-- at keeping the kids in line. This career will be fulfilling. This career will be fine. This career is do-able. I could be good at this. I might even be great at this. I might even love this."

Etcetera.

So it was a tiring, difficult day, and it was a fun, engaging day. And I might burn out so fast, but I really hope I don't. Thinking I need to get a skin thick enough to ride these good vs. not-so-good classes so that ONE of the latter doesn't send me into a downward spiral where I bemoan, and doubt, and quit.

Must not be a flip-flop. Must be a boot.

Or... you know. Something.