Showing posts with label viola. Show all posts
Showing posts with label viola. Show all posts

Friday, June 5, 2009

Student Teaching Internship Reflection

I'll reflect on the year by examining the "epiphany" moments that helped me get to where I'm at. Many of these will have been written about in previous blogs; when appropriate, I've provided links.

First and foremost:

I LOVE THIS:
Blogs like, "Okay Phew," "Letter Writing to Ligia," "Those Days," and "Bubbling Over" are evidence of the deep joy and excitement teaching brings me. Although many Monday mornings still find me with butterflies in my stomach, they flee as soon as I turn the corner in front of the school and see my students milling around in front of the building. I love my students, and I love this job. I've also realized this year that I'm good at it; the students respond to my lessons and have told me repeatedly that I make learning fun, that I make it interesting. They know I care about them, which I deeply, truly do. I've realized-- and have been told by my mentor and other observing teachers-- that classroom management is a strong point for me. I know when to be serious and draw hard lines, I know when a joking reprimand is sufficient, I know when to call a kid out in the hallway for a serious conversation, I know how to use humor, and I know how to show my kids that I expect them to respect me because I respect them; that I expect them to be kind to others because I am kind to them. Although I know there's still room for improvement in this area-- especially as I continue to solidify the "I am the TEACHER" line, I believe that this is going to be an area that I can call a strength. I do feel meant to do this. I feel called to be a teacher, and this year has been confirmation that this will be a fulfilling, enjoyable life calling-- one that blends my passions with my capabilities. I do LOVE this.

I Need to QTIP:
An acronym for, "Quit Taking it Personally." The phrase was provided to me by another new teacher my first week of school; though I've yet to take it fully to heart, as evidenced by this post written in April, this is a principle I know I need to continue to internalize. When the 3rd period students turned into hellions this last Wednesday for example, it wasn't about me; it was more likely because our classroom was almost 90 degrees. Or because the novelty of being taught by a student intern is finally wearing off, and they're finally in the mood to test me. Or because several of the kids were just in grumpy moods. The same lesson went well for the other three language arts periods, and Viola has consistently said that my classroom management skills are one of my top strengths as a teacher. Still, when kids were saying blatantly rude things... it was hard not to take it personally. However, if I'm going to survive as a teacher and avoid burn-out, I need to make sure I'm keeping the "Q" portion of the "QTIP."

Small Victories Are Victories:
Especially when working with students who aren't on the AP track, or the Ivy League route, or who have absent parental support, the small victories with these kids are a big deal. This doesn't mean that I don't hold my kids to high standards, because they're expected to achieve big victories as well. However, for some of these kids, certain moments that may have seemed insignificant on paper have been truly momentous from a psychological or emotional stand-point, and ones that I can take great joy from.

One-on-Ones Work:
Kids don't like being "managed," i.e. disciplined in front of their peers. It's humiliating, and they'll almost always try to lash out to save face. However, get them out in the hallway, talk to them like a real person, start off on a gentle note, and they're usually completely reasonable. I've enjoyed the one-on-one chats this year because, not only have them helped me effectively manage difficult students, but they've also helped me build very real relationships with my kids. Next year, I definitely intend to continue handling the more difficult moments or issues with a hallway chat.

It Works to Be Myself:
I truly care about these kids. I think in metaphors frequently. I was a theatre major in college and have a substantial dance back-ground. I play guitar and write songs. I am genuinely interested in what my students have to say. All these very authentic aspects of myself have led to-- surprise-- some of my most effective instruction, and have been instrumental in building strong relationships with my students. Additionally, it's much less exhausting if I'm teaching as MYSELF than if I'm trying to project a different persona.

With that said however...

It Also Works to Be the Teacher:
There was a moment this year when I complimented one of my third period girls on her outfit. I remember her giving me a look that said, "Weird..." and then she shook her hair out of her face and sat down at her desk. I remember thinking in that moment, "I didn't respect teachers in high-school that tried to be like me, or that tried to be my 'friend.' I respected teachers that KNEW what they were talking about, that showed me respect, and that clearly had control as the TEACHER." That realization was what transitioned me from trying to be these students' "buddy," to being, truly, their teacher. It's also when my classroom management stepped up a serious notch; I became much more comfortable drawing hard lines when necessary. This lesson was further reinforced by a field trip to Bellingham. Although it's been a journey getting to the point of having a clearly established LINE with my students, I feel like I'm there.

Sometimes Hard Lessons are Important Lessons: I still struggle sometimes with letting kids learn the hard way. If a failing student comes to me with an extremely late essay, for example, I'll typically accept it for reduced credit, even if the kids have been told essays won't be accepted past a certain date. "But he DID the essay...!" I'll think to myself, and inevitably I'll give the student some points. Perhaps responding this way teaches its own kind of lesson; perhaps students that have felt discouraged and incompetent for always failing will get a much needed boost of encouragement that may lead them to more motivated efforts in the future. However, a big part of me feels that kids need to learn the lessons of the "real world"-- that, if they miss a dead-line, there are very real consequences. Part of establishing myself as that TEACHER is proving myself to be consistent. This is still a growing edge for me, but one I'm certainly working on.

And finally:

I've Been Blessed With a Great Mentor:
A reflection on this year wouldn't be complete without expressing just how much I have been helped, impacted, and guided by my mentor, Viola. Viola, as Matt my SPU Supervisor put it, has been like a great parent: she scolded when she needed to and provided necessary correction, but also provided consistent encouragement and affirmation when it was deserved. Viola has forced me to acknowledge difficult lessons that I needed to learn, yet has also helped me through discouraging days. I have learned to trust her judgment with these kids, and it's been so incredibly helpful to have her to confer with about students or lessons, especially as I've moved into teaching full time. She's been so FUN to work with, and even taught me the nitty-gritties of grammar. :) I'm not sure how I'll thank her sufficiently when the year ends, but she deserves every bit of what I come up with. What a blessing to have worked with such a competent teacher and advisor!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

And... SCENE

This last week, we started trying to put together a play of The Ramayana, which is the Indian epic we just finished reading. Early in the week, Viola had mentioned that she might need to leave early. "That's fine!" I said. "I can take 5th period. It would probably good for me to get more face time with them before Matt observes me anyway."
But Viola hemmed and hawed, suggesting another teacher come lead the class, or that she get a sub. Finally, she said, "I'll just stay. It's fine." I admit I was a little disappointed-- I'm comfortable enough with our kids now that I'd love to start "stretching my wings." Plus, I was a theater major-- and we were running scenes! Obviously though, I respect Viola's leadership-- I'm her fourth intern, and she knows what to do with us.
I did ask her though, "I hope you feel comfortable leaving me with the kids... I want you to feel like you can trust me to do a good job with them!"
"Oh, absolutely I do!" she said. We left it at that.

Then I got my chance after all. :) When we started running scenes, I think Viola quickly realized that directing was something I'm very comfortable doing. I was giving the kids blocking (stage directions), and explaining that levels and placement on the stage can indicate more or less power, and I was giving them character directions, and all sorts of things. Working the scenes became very naturally shared between us-- she gave the kids a direction, and then I gave a direction, and us both supported the other. We only disagreed at one point: I encouraged the kids to build " the rickety bridge across the ocean" using chairs and tables, "And then, you know, just carefully traipse across them!" That was the only time Viola pulled rank.
"Liability!"
She was right, and we all knew it. We good-naturedly deferred, the kids giving me a, "Daaang," sort of grin.

Later at lunch, Jane the theatre teacher was complaining that our school sub wouldn't agree to cover her 6th period. "It's his birthday, so he's leaving early..."
"Greta could do it," Viola offered. "She was a theatre major! She was great working with the kids today."
Aww! "I wouldn't mind!" I said.
Jane paused, considering it. "Okay. That would be great."

So then I got to teach a theatre class all by myself! We ran the freshmen's mini-play, and then I worked with the seniors on their scenes. I got to direct almost every kid in some way or another, and I felt really good about how the scenes improved. Jane came in at the end and said, "So how'd it go?"
One girl, who had seemed frustrated that she hadn't gotten more attention earlier, said, "It was BORING."
Talk about raining on my parade. Jane reprimanded the girl, and then watched me finish giving direction to the seniors.

After class, I went to the student who had made the "boring" comment and I said, "Kaley, is everything okay? You seemed a little upset at the end of class."
She looked caught off-guard. "I'm okay."
"Okay. I just wanted to make sure you had a chance to talk to me, if you had anything on your mind. My feelings were a little hurt when you said the class was boring, because I really did my best to make sure everyone had a chance to perform, and that you all got feedback."
"Sorry," she said.
"It's okay. I want you to know that I value your opinion, and that I'm open to talking with you, but I also appreciate your respect."
"Okay."
"Okay. Have a good afternoon."

I finished up with Jane, telling her the directions I'd given the kids. She nodded enthusiastically and affirmed the notes I'd given them. The week culminated with me teaching almost ALL the classes on Friday, because Viola was getting grades in, and she figured I could do it-- that I could run the scenes. And I did it! Even with the hard classes! YAY!!

And what's GREAT about that is that the kids are starting to get used to me as Viola's co-TEACHER, not just her assistant.

I'm loving the one-on-ones, as far as dealing with "attitudes" go. There was a lot of 'TUDE on Friday so I had several more chats, and the kids are just SO much better to talk to and relate to when you're chatting with them one-on-one, than when they're just trying to be a spectacle in class. I haven't mastered the en masse classroom management yet (though I'm definitely getting better), but because I've built relationships with most of these kids, it is SO GOOD talking to them one-on-one about their behavior in class. The conversations are typically polite, and open, and I'm usually able to joke with the kids a little, or at least show them that I empathize with what they're dealing with.

"Okay guys, we're going to do a theatre warm up to get us all a little more energized. Let's start in the neutral position-- arms at your side, legs shoulder-width apart, weight evenly spread-- K? Can you drop your arms to your side?"
(K has her arms crossed, and is SCOWLING. She LIFTS her eyebrow in a challenge when I ask her to drop her arms.)
"Please?"
(Rolls her eyes and flings down her arms.) K was my main antagonist on Week One, but she's been great since then. The fact that she was being contentious over standing in the "Neutral Position" obviously indicated she was in A MOOD.

After the circle broke up and the kids were getting into their groups, I called her over.
"Hon what's up? You seem kind of off today."
"I'm having a REALLY bad day," she said angrily, and started to tear up.
"Okay... Okay. I know how a crappy day can affect... everything. I'll try not to ask too much of you today, but if you are involved in something we're working on... Can you give it your best shot?"
She nodded.
"Okay. Do your thing. Feel better."
And off she went.

Anyway: point being: I love the one-on-ones. And I love the teaching!!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Week Two: Put the Gun in the Holster

Reflecting then on the second week:

I liked this week. I just really like what I'm doing. I like the students, even when they have big attitudes, and I like getting to know them, and I like talking about what we're talking about in class, and I like writing down ideas of what I want to do for my class next year. This is just FUN, and exciting. I'm sure I'll have plenty to complain about later on, but for now I'm happy to be happy.

I did more observing than teaching this week, so it was a little less eventful. There were some great moments though, so I'll focus this blog on those:

1.) Remember K? For whatever reason, on Wednesday of this week, she had a great day. We had a warm moment when she greeted me in an assembly and I squeezed her foot, which she'd rested on the seat in front of her. Later I had to ask her to take it down, but she willingly complied. In class that afternoon, she was polite and focused and at one point asked me a question, starting it with, "Gretchen, what was..."
I responded, "It's actually Greta," and then answered her question.
"Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that, I'm really sorry...!"
"No worries K, it happens."
I saw her again on my way out the door that afternoon and said, "K, you were so great today. I really appreciated how polite you were!" She gave me a silly grin, and finished running up the stairs.

On Friday, she seemed to be in a contentious mood again, but she seemed more ready to listen and be reasonable when I questioned her on it. It feels like there's more of a relationship there, which other teachers tell me is huge in managing harder students. And I loved that we had that good day-- if nothing else, the next time she's being really tough to work with, I can pull her aside and say, "K, I KNOW how great you can be, I've seen it. What's the deal with today?"

2.) More relationship building: a ninth-grader named "I"-- I'll call him Isaac-- often has trouble focusing and is frequently flirting with the girl across from him, or talking under his breath, or showing signs of great boredom. On Monday, I kept catching his eye, and indicating, "Isaac, stop" or "Isaac, cut it out." At one point, I looked over and he'd made his hand into the shape of gun and was pointing it at his head, like, "Shoot me, this is so boring." I caught his eye, and made my hand into the shape of gun, and put it to my head. Then I mimed putting it in the holster and raised my eyebrows at him. He looked at me for a second. Then, he took his "gun" off his head, twirled it, blew the smoke off his fingers, and finally holstered it. We both grinned.

On Friday, we'd given the class work-time to fill out a "Hero Journey worksheet" that they'd been assigned for homework, which essentially asked them to start translating their own stories into a Hero Journey. I came over and asked Isaac and his gal pal if they were working. "Yes! Yes we are!" she started out quickly.
"Great! What are you coming up with?"
"Isaac is figuring out-- he's going to do something with a frog prince!" They both laughed at her quick improvisation.
"Oh you ARE? Isaac-- it's going to be your mission to find a frog prince?? Well that's great! I didn't know you wanted a PRINCE! How sweet! I honestly didn't realize you went that way, but that's great, I'm really happy for you, I'm glad you know what you're looking for!" The other kids at the table erupted into giggles, and Isaac grinned at the ribbing, turning red.

It's fun to be getting to the point where I can joke around with them. :)

3.) Some moments that indicate room for improvement: the students seem to have uncovered an Achilles Heel for Viola and me as far as clear communication on what one of us has told the students. For example, one student will ask me to go to the bathroom and I'll approve; then Viola will see the student leaving and say, "Mary sit back down please, you can go after I finish explaining this." Another student on Friday asked Viola if she could listen to her I-pod when doing independent work; Viola told her no, and then when the student asked ME later, I said that she could, so long as I could see that she was working. Crossed-wires make us BOTH look bad... Luckily, Viola's been great about recognizing when she accidently undermines what instruction I've given, and understanding when I accidently undermine hers. Bottom line-- we just need to make sure that we're on the same page!

4.) One more thing I'll mention: Viola also teaches a Swing Dancing Class for our elective, so I've been getting to Lindy Hop my heart away during 6th period. It's GREAT to end the day doing something active, and I love getting to interact with the kids on a different level. We have many of the Dance students in our English classes, and getting to be silly with them in Dance helps our interactions in English. :) Viola especially gets goofy when she's teaching the class-- she has Buddy Holly glasses frames without any glass in them that she always puts on to commence her instruction, haha! I'm happy to report that 10 years of dance training enables me to fake it well enough to be accepted by the students as a legitimate Swing Dancing T.A., although-- I'm still under suspect by some of the students who don't have me for class. On Thursday, a little guy was peering in the window of dance class and distracting some of the students. I opened the door and asked, "Where are you supposed to be right now?"
"Karen's class."
"Well, how about you go to Karen's class?"
"What...? Are you even a teacher?"
"Yes!"
"No you're not, SHE'S the teacher!" (pointing to Viola)
"I'm her intern! Now scoot yourself, get to class!"

That was my own fault I think-- I was wearing a funkier outfit that day (siiiigh, again, with the wardrobe) and looked younger. I felt tickled by the exchange though. Haha!

But I will say: dancing with teenage boys that are supposed to see me as a teacher can be so awkward!! There's usually no eye contact, plenty of B.O. and cologne, lots of sweaty palms, and lots of awkward responses to my conversational questions. It's uncomfortable, but hilarious!

Alright, that should wrap up Week 2. :) Yay for fun interactions!